-----Original Message-----
FROM:
alan@lnreview.co.ukSENT: May 5 2004 7:04PM
SUBJECT:LG Content Review
Slippy is on Google's news alerts so yesterday this guy's review of our content: http://www.lnreview.co.uk/music/blog/001766.php popped into his inbox. As you can imagine he was pissed since this guy pretty much ripped us apart right down to our souls.
-----Original Message-----
FROM: Helga The Help
SENT: May 5 2004 9:37PM
SUBJECT:Of OutKasts and Olsen Twins...
Dear Alan,
It is said that a critic is a legless man who teaches running. In your case, I think a more appropriate metaphor would be a mouthless man who teaches laughing.
We typically ignore so-called "reviews" on such prestigious blogs as yours. But since you are clearly siphoning off of our popularity, why don't you inhale this: The Gadfly you are not.
At least you seem to have a functional spell-chekcer which immediately puts you in the upper percentile of "critics" who believe themselves qualified to review our work. Sadly, you lack the sophistication to understand any of it. You call us schoolboys and profess to grasp irreverence with sufficient depth to declare ours sub-standard. You were on the hunt for your white whale and having found us, are wreaking your hate and jealousy upon us. You shoot down our genius and yet would probably laugh for hours at a fart joke. Men like you once burned clear-thinkers at the stake and then went home to devour all of their forbidden books in hopes of reaching the same enlightenment that they were persecuting.
I say you are a coward.
You are afraid to open your mind and hear the truth from a truly divine and inspired messenger. I can only hope that your "overwhelming" readership can see beyond your poisonous rhetoric and appreciate the beauty of its victim.
Indeed,
Helga The Help