-----Original Message-----
FROM: Helga The Help
SENT: Jul 9 2004 10:00AM
SUBJECT:Complaint to City of Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley
Dear Mayor Daley,
This June marked the 26th year of my Chicago residency. Next June will not mark the 27th. Being the honorable person that I am, I believe that ending a quarter-century relationship requires an explanation.
Chicago is, for three months out of 12, a magnificent city. Nowhere but here are the colors as bright or the people as vibrant. The relentless onslaught of every winter is always repelled by the rebirth of every spring. The crunch of freshly fallen snow is slowly replaced by the blossoms of new life as the demon of winter comes inside to hang its hat and have some tea. The heavens, breathe a new energy into our people. With it, we live each and every summer day to its fullest for every year, the demonic cold, like an ill-mannered house guest, arrives earlier and stays later. And as the city’‘s chief executive, it falls to you to shoulder the responsibility.
By standing idly by, you risk not only your legacy but also your dynasty. The citizens of your city implore you sir: do something!!! Starting with your disappearing act on the city’‘s abandoned vehicles in 1989, (of which mine was one of the vanished) to your Marchese real-estate investments to the more recent bulldozing of Miegs Field, you have so often circumvented ethical inconveniences and due process of law that certainly shifting a few weather patterns around cannot be too much to ask. Is there no campaign donor, no Bridgeport resident, no relative of Jeremiah Joyce who can possibly help?
I know your concern. Rest assured that the taxpayers will be more than happy to make up for the lost labor of Streets and Sanitation workers who have less snow to shovel and fewer pounds of salt to truck. We can beautify more streets and plant more flowers. All could agree that the skill-set for driving around workers to water plants is relatively homologous to that of driving them to shovel snow. Our ageing streets would have fewer potholes which would free up the city’‘s army of road-repair-specialists to perform much-needed improvements in the homes and driveways of prominent Chicagoans. Property values would increase and so would campaign contributions. Not that you need them.
Mr. Mayor, your city needs you!
Sincerely,
Helga The Help
A Concerned Chicagoan