-----Original Message-----
FROM: Helga The Help
SENT: Mar 21 2005 12:00AM
SUBJECT:LaCie 300875 1 TB Bigger Hard Drive Sucks Ass
Dear Amazon,
I typically am so infuriated by the purchase of as pathetic a product as the LaCie 300875 that I would never provide the courtesy of such a note to the retailer, however, so impressed was I with the simplicity of your return process that I feel as though I owe you an explanation.
This product is named the “Bigger Hard Drive” when the “Biggest Embarrassment” is more appropriate. Although the drive installed without incident, a mere half hour of intense copying via Firewire B rendered the casing a virtual frying pan and the data inaccessible. Windows reported that the device had malfunctioned. However, knowing the correlation between heat and “malfunctioning” computer equipment, I let the drive cool and gave it another try.
Although Firewire B never worked again, I was still able to access data via USB, and yet, the durations of accessibility were getting shorter and shorter as the drive began cooking sooner and sooner. I did entertain thoughts of inflicting third-degree burns on one of my co-workers but felt sorry for you people who would have to handle product with seared bits of his flesh.
Anyway, I am not sure what monstrosities LaCie has packaged into this 11 pound case that it has masquerading as a terabyte hard drive (like perhaps 5 separate 200 GB, 7200 RPM disks on RAID 0) and frankly I don’t care. I can only suggest that as a courtesy to any customer spending 900 bucks on a storage product as well as to your bottom line (as you will inevitably have a slew of costly returns) delete this garbage immediately from your catalog and tell your LaCie representative that he or she should wait until the drive gets to about 70 degrees Celsius and shove it directly up the business end of their large intestine.
Tell them Helga The Help said so his/herself.
Sincerely,
Helga The Help
LiquidGeneration Inc.
Press Secretary.