-----Original Message-----
FROM: Helga The Help
SENT: Apr 29 2006 12:00AM
SUBJECT:If Mexicans Can Protest, So can Transsexuals
Transsexuals can be late with their newsletters, but never with their menses.
-- Helga
Dear Governments of the World,
I am Helga Antonia Perez Rodriguez Loca, LiquidGeneration’s undocumented, uncircumcised pre-operative transsexual and you can vacuum your own house, pick your own strawberries and bus your own table because on Monday, I’m calling in pissed.
My uncut sisters and I have been underappreciated for too long! Get ready to pay holy hell. I’m organizing the million-transsexual-march. Since I do not want my movement to be taken lightly, I will learn from the best. People who have been screaming oppression for generations and doing something about it: the Palestinians and the Mexicans.
At first perusal, it may appear that both groups have been complete and utter failures in advancing their respective agendas. Both lost land to their enemies after suffering humiliating defeats in war. The Palestinians lost the holy land while Mexicans lost their land wholly.
It would be tempting to regard both as mere exoskeletons of once-glorious cultures that must look deep in the rearview mirror for the faintest glimmer of pride but nothing can be further from the truth.
Both factions have found covert ways to wage war upon their oppressors. Both the Palestinians and the Mexicans have mastered the power of explosives. The Palestinians blow up Israeli bodies with dirty bombs while Mexicans blow through American intestines with spicy burritos. There is no reason a transsexual can’t blow through some intestines too. Start with the small and move down to the large.
Colonization begins with a single settlement. Then the invading culture can name things in their native tongue and follow their own customs and pay no respect to their kindly hosts. The Palestinians settled Gaza and the Mexicans settled Los Angeles. Thus, Israel has a bunch of barbed wire that no one can cross while LA has street names no one can pronounce. The transsexual revolution would combine the best of both worlds. I’d barricade with studded leathers and give my streets names that require the homo-lithp.
Behavior is learned through repetition and both the Mexicans and Palestinians are glowing specimens of OCD. Five times a day, the Palestinians get on their knees and pray to Allah. Mexicans get on their knees and scream “Dios Mio!” And it’s gotta be more than five times a day because, I’m just not sure how else it’s possible to have 12 children by the age of 30. Regardless, the transsexual movement should pay attention. Toughen up those knees while facing our own private Mecca: San Francisco
Welcome friends…to the transsexual jihadisimo!
Helga Antonia Perez Rodriguez Loca
Tranny Tricker/Sandal Wearer